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The Dress Code: Satirical Advice to a Poorly Dressed Teenager ~ essay by Murilo Lamonato

The dress code is a common practice in many schools internationally. It is prepared by the Department of Education and provides rules about how the students should dress. In this article, it does not matter whether the dress code system should exist or which rules should be implemented. We need to discuss an implicit dress code, one determined by the students themselves, and it is written in this article to help every poorly dressed youngster in dire need of fashion advice.

First, money is essential and should be flaunted through your outfits. It doesn't matter how much skin is showing or the tightness of your clothes, for if your clothes aren't expensive, you're deviating from the implicit code. Inequality among students is fierce, and this is demonstrated in the way they dress. Those at the top of the school social pyramid need expensive clothes, or their position is threatened. Anyone at the bottom of the school hierarchy wearing whatever their mother bought them at the thrift store is insulting the implicit code. Dress as expensively as possible— this is undoubtedly a crucial law of teenage elegance.

Then, it is paramount to keep the trendiest fashion in mind. It does not matter if you like the color of your outfit, if it expresses your personality, if you feel confident in it or any of that nonsense! Whoever wears the trendiest AND most expensive clothes is crowned the king or queen of school fashion. Anyone below such unreachable standards blatantly insults the implicit code.

However, there’s one aspect that the implicit and explicit dress codes agree on: your clothes must be clean! This goes far beyond your scent; the implicit student dress code predicts that a microscopic stain on your white blouse is enough to topple your high status in school fashion hierarchy. No matter how shiny and perfume engulfed the shirt is, a permanent stain will ruin your reputation.

Lastly, make sure your clothes are new. Don't wear the same outfit multiple times, as they'll think you don't have new clothes to wear. Use a methodology: if any outfit in your wardrobe has already been worn more than three times, throw it in the trash. Or, wait a few months to use it again, which is not advisable as it will go out of style. As for shoes, always remember that they can't be old under any circumstances. Keep your shoes as radiant as possible so everyone thinks they're new.

These general rules are invaluable for any student's social life, so try to follow them diligently. And as for the school's formal dress code, forget about it. Student concern regarding clothes should always be where the coolness requires it to be.

Murilo Lamonato is a 17-year-old high school student from Brazil 🇧🇷 that is an avid reader. You can connect with him by following his Instagram @murilolamonato_
Photo Credit: Jewels Powell


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